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Just had the worse dream ever. Dreamed that I got my monitor back. I was happy in the dream, but was wondering is this real. Then I woke up, and had to face this harsh reality of it was a dream. My brain is abusing me.

Sometimes I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. Feels like something an emo would say but this world is just….too much efforts.

Hello again blog, or should I say, my go to place when I am not happy with the current life. Well, that seems like I’m looking at this place negatively, I have some good old stupid moments here, but.more rant than anything. If whoever is reading haven’t guessed, it’s another rant post! Who would’ve though? If this blog is a human, he/she would probably we sick of me by now. I am sure he/she isn’t the only one.

/rantstart
So, parent teacher meeting today, last one ever (thank god) since I don’t think college have p/t meetings. Parent teacher meetings, one of the days that I worry about. Why? Because my mother would hear bs from my teachers! Then she would blandly listen to them and for some reasons likes gprs remember the bad things teachers say, and just totally throw the good things into the back of the head. This has happened every single year, I really find that frustrating. Why does she always seem to remember only the bad things that are said? Why can’t she appreciate and be proud of the things I am good at? Writing this rant again makes me feel like I have time traveled back to when I just hit my teenage years, because I had the.similar rant before, but not on this blog since it wasn’t created back then. I’m sorry to have to write this again but I really wanted to find somewhere to let things out of my chest, or else I might just go insane and kill myself. Tbh, I don’t feel like I am getting any support from my parents at all. None. Because everytime we have a conversation and if it hits the topic of school, they would only remember how bad I did in a certain subject and tell me that I won’t be able to get into college if I don’t do anything. And I mean EVERYTIME! It’s starting to feel like they want me to fail the god damn LC. I have been asked by them before whether I think I can get into college or not, I have only answered them yes, and yes everytime. The response I would get from them is “well you won’t get into college with these results”. It’s like, what the flying fuck? Why can’t they believe in their own son and support him by saying something nice to keep me going? Rather than saying shuts like that to ruin my confidence. I only get some care and support from my aunties (mom’s side) and from them only. When we talk on the phones my geo aunties would ask me the same questions about college. I would reply the same thing to them too but through response I get from them is a completely different story from my parents. The only response i would get from them is “ok, I believe in you just keep going.” Why is this? I feel really sad about this. Why doesn’t my parents do the same? Is it because my sister can get better results than me? I simply find that unfair, just unfair to the max. My sister is a bitch to me all the time, but she gets good results does that mean my parents prefer a child that is a bitch to her brother but get good grades? I feel lonely again, although I know I have my aunties supporting me but one is in China and through other one is in australia. I feel helpless, again.

What happened during JC happened again. They took my monitor away from me, again. It just makes me think, my computer is really the main source of my social life and entertainment (saying this makes me feel like I have no life) so without it, what should I do? I really feel like just to become a full time nerd and just throw my social life out of the window. I am sure I would get fine grades like that. That may result with no life, but if that’s not in my parents’ concern why should I think about it?

Thanks again blog, I feel slightly better after all the rant. You might just be the only one that could do this, the only one.

And thank god for not stripping my phone from me, atleast I have something left to grip on.

/endrant
J_unhappybob

Yeah, went to Phoenix park with Tom, Chris and Jerry today, ’cause Chris wanted to go to this Japanese festival thing in the park, and got all of us to go.

Few things happened today. First thing happened at the bus, we were gonna take the 37 to the park, but we missed it and took the 46A to catch up with it. So I paid city fare (50c) but we then gave up. The bus stopped at the last city fare stop, and the bus driver came upstairs, looked at me and indicated me to go downstairs. When I got downstairs, he told me that this is the last city fare stop. I was like “oshit sorry” and he asked me where I want to go blah blah, I paid him another 1.65 for the rest of the trip. I guess I was kinda lucky, cause the bus driver told me that I could’ve been fined 90 yoyos.

When I walked back up, everyone on the upper story stared at me, I felt a bit embarrassed but I pretended nothing happened and laughed it away. My friends were just laughing, and I mehhhhed.

That was only the start.

Since we took the 46A instead of the 37, we got off in a different entrance to the park, so we wondered around for a little wondering where in the hell the festival is, we passed by the Garda Headquarters and Tom walked into the reception for instructions to the place, then we found out it was a 45 mins walk down, it’s on the other side of the park. We were gonna rent bikes, but the building looked far away and we didn’t bother. I am pretty sure we regret it like 10 mins after, because the straight road down to the other side seemed ENDLESS, the road was practically the same and there were cars parked on both side of the road, we actually walked for 45 mins down, the lady in the Garda station is pretty accurate with time I guess. But the 4 of us nearly died of tiredness and hunger when we got there. The festival is suppose to start at 12:00, but we didn’t get there until 2, the first thing was to get food, we found a place where they sold Japanese snacks, but soon to be heart broken by the fact that they actually sold out everything they had. EVERYTHING. There was a Sushi King beside it, but it’s just a big rip-off and none of us wanted to buy from them, therefore we resorted to other sources of food. Tom’s sister was already at the festival with her boyfriend, and she told us about pizzas in a place so me, Chris and Jerry went to get some. Long fucking Que it had, the place was fairly small, it was only a court yard and it had a Ice cream truck, Crepe stand, Pizza stand and a smoothie stand, the place was packed with people. We first went for the pizza Que, only to line up for more than half an hour without seeing the Que moving forward for one little bit, that really suck cause we were hungry and tired, we changed our mind and went for the Crepe. I guess the Crepe’s Que isn’t any better, but atleast we got to see the Que moving forward, we waited for about 25 mins or so and got some Crepe with Chocolate buttons and marshmallows they weren’t exactly GREAT but eatable for the time, we hung around for a bit longer, saw few people playing those Japanese drums and whatnot. What I was surprised at was the fact that there were people Cosplaying there I didn’t see it coming at all, the people cosplaying wasn’t exactly great so I didn’t bother taking a picture. (Mostly because they were ugly and fat). For the walk back, we took a different route by accident. We were suppose to turn left at the second roundabouts when we came out, but Tom decided to take us on a trip in the first roundabout. We walked for another 30 mins in a straight road with no people at all, we were actually lost and we didn’t want to go back so we continue walking forward like mindless zombies, it was fun cause we didn’t know where we were going! We then saw this old man and asked for direction, it turns out we were in Castlenock, and guess what? The 37 bus stop was there too! So that means if we took the 37 from the start we would’ve saved that 45 mins of horrible walk.

On the bus, Chris told me a rather interesting story about him one day in town walking to the Luas station. So he was walking down the road, and one guy asked him can he do a survey about dogs or something, Chris said “No sorry I have to go to work.” (Obviously a lie.) and just walked away. The guy goes “Sir, you dropped something.” so Chris looks back and asked “What’d I drop?” cause he didn’t see anything. The man replies “You dropped a chance to save a dog.” when I heard that bit from Chris I actually lol’d on the bus, I didn’t see that coming at all, who in the world would say that? That just makes you feel really bad for walking away. I must say though, the man is smart, but bit of an asshole, or else he loves dog a bit too much.

What sucks after all these is, I had to work. I worked on Friday, cause my stupid sister was working in the School play and I thought she was gonna work Sunday because I worked Friday for her, but I forgot about the fact that she is a stupid bitch and she refused to work today, making me even more tired.

I left home at 12:10 PM, didn’t get home until 11:10 or so, so I am really tired but had a fun day with the 3 guys, which is great.

J_KB signing off.